Halfway to a Year

It seems as if it were just yesterday I were embarking on this crazy adventure of having two babies 15 months apart, and now the year is half over. The grueling postpartum period is behind me, never to be revisited again, which I must admit brings a feeling of excitement. Among the three things I will never miss about having babies (believe me there is enough to be missed) sleeplessness is one of them (the other two being morning sickness and transition.) It was a little bit of a hurricane for a while there, but the hardest part is behind me. The funny thing is that Anthony is and always has been the perfect baby. He can take no blame for any of my struggles. However, one can only be expected to function so normally on little sleep. Lack of sleep affects so many facets of my life; the physical, mental, emotional, and spiritual. This is the main reason why I am so adamant about sleep training; it's essential for the well-being of the whole family.

Anywho, back to Anthony. He is the perfect baby. My 12 years of child rearing have taught me a thing or two, and I think Heavenly Father saw it fit to compensate me with a good baby for having two of them so close together. He is very soft, mild, and loveable.

I have been thinking lately that the one thing I am really going to miss is nursing. There is nothing like the closeness that nourishing your baby with your own body brings, and without any more pregnancies on the horizon this will be my last tie to doing this. Not that there has ever been any effort to wean on my part, but I especially will not be rushing this one. Yes, nursing is something I hold dear and sacred to my heart.

That being said, I am so anxious for all that the future holds. I look forward to "big kid" stuff like vacationing, camping, nights away with Forrest, and all those other things we've been holding back on while we've had our babies. I have many personal goals, such as running a half marathon and having the sit-down time to invest in developing other talents. I look forward to being able to more fully devote myself to our homeschool. All the kids have made sacrifices over the years when I've had my babies, and as they grow our study time can become more focused and our curriculum more advanced. In addition to mothering, I feel homeschooling is my calling and part of my livelihood.

As Anthony grows, I am enjoying having a little more time to spend doing the things I've missed with my other kids, like laying down with them at night. My nights are no longer occupied nursing a baby to sleep. The other night I was lying in bed with Noah, and we were having a conversation about how angels protect us from scary things. Out of the blue, he said, "Heavenly Father only takes us up (to heaven) when we give a good talk, right?" I was a little confused, so I asked him what he meant. He then went on to say, "Like Sister Speas; she gave a talk He really liked and so He took her up." Sister Speas was a woman in our ward who feebly bore her testimony on Fast Sunday and died later in the week from cancer. My kids were really touched by her testimony and we were talking about it in the car after church. In Noah's mind, the reason why she died later in the week was because of her sincere testimony. How would I know of this sweet innocence in his heart if I didn't take the time to be with him in the stillness that seems to only come at night?

I can not put into words my gratitude for being a mother. It is humbling to have the opportunity to bring a child into the world six times over. I do not think I would've realized my potential as a person and a woman had I not had children; for in them my life truly began. They continue to mold and shape me into the person I hope to be, now and in the eternities.

Anthony, thank you for being our perfect sixth child. Tomorrow you will be on the better half of a year, and I cherish every day with you. You complete our family.