I was at the store tonight picking up some ice-cream for mine and Forrest's movie night when I heard a child wailing from the back of the store. I perked up my eyes and ears, and a few moments later I saw her mother emerge at the head of my aisle, looking quite exasperated, wailing child in tow, accompanied by three other children. The mother appeared tired, stressed, and somewhat frazzled. Her hair was a bit messy, there were little black smudges under her eyes, and I guessed her to be in her home-for-the night clothes. She walked up to the checkout line, and I followed. As she placed her items on the counter, the clerk, a young girl who didn't appear to be a mother, was making an obvious attempt to cheer the child up, making overly kind and exaggerated comments to the children, handing them their own bags to carry, etc. After her purchase was made, the mother sullenly told the children it was time to go, and escorted the still-whiny toddler out to the parking lot. As I walked up and placed my ice-cream on the counter, the clerk looked down at my pregnant belly and said rather sarcastically, "See what
you have to look forward to?"
My response was, "Actually this is my fifth, so I know very well what I have to look forward to," (not meaning it sarcastically at all.) I then finished with, "That was just a little girl who needed to go home and go to bed."
Then, with raised eyebrows, she gave me the once-over and replied, "Oh, I would've thought this was your first."
Deciding to take this as a compliment, I thanked her. She didn't look up at me for the rest of the transaction, and bid me farewell with her eyes down.
This scenario gave me a couple of things to think about: first, what is a mother of five
supposed to look like? Don't I look like a mother? Were you expecting someone haggardly? Second: I need to come up with a witty comeback for all the comments like, "Wow, you have your hands full," "
five kids, wow!" and, my personal favorite, "You're done, RIGHT?" Well, actually, no. And what the heck business is it of yours anyways?
I did not see a poor woman who was struggling with so many kids, I saw a woman who was blessed with so many kids, and I want people to see the same in me.
One of my favorite things is when little old ladies approach me on the street or in the store with that sweet smile, that knowing smile, and say, "What a beautiful family you have," or "God bless you." They get it.
I am often told, "You are so patient," or, "Your children are so well-behaved." To that I say, "They have their moments." And so do I. But I wouldn't trade a minute of raising my children, good or bad, for anything in this world. They are my livelihood, my greatest blessings. And yes they throw fits sometimes. I just wish people would look past my full hands and into my full heart. It is all worth it.
