Testimony

I didn't get up in sacrament meeting to bear my testimony today, (something about having 6 kids,) but if I did, this is what I would say.

I know Heavenly Father hears and answers prayers.  Last month I fasted and prayed for a house in the sunshine, and 3 days later we received our 60 day notice.  This was an answer to my prayer.  Through faith, we are able to be led and guided.  What may seem like a loss can actually be realized as a blessing.

Things are not always what they seem, but if we remain faithful the reward will come.  Last week I attended a 24 hour birth.  The mama labored at home beautifully and when she decided to go in, discovered she was at a 2.  We were suspended in time but eventually she brought that beautiful little baby earthside and I was never so grateful to be back with my family.  Her birth has given me the opportunity to step back and re-structure the way I attend births, to make my work more family-friendly.

This past year has taught me to live in the moment, not knowing what lies ahead.  There have been moments of clarity, and moments where I can not see the hand in front of my face.  BUT, what I have learned is that if I keep moving forward the light will come.  Along with my 6 kids, I have learned to surrender control.  Life, like birth, at some point requires our surrender.  This last year has definitely "washed over" me. 

Forrest challenged me to read 15 minutes of scripture and listen to 2 conference talks every day.  While I have not been as diligent on the scriptures, I have become ept to listening to the conference talks, probably because I can put them on while doing dishes or folding laundry and they don't require sitting down.  I like the peace and consistency this brings into my day.

I can almost pause within a day and take inventory of what really matters, but that doesn't make the work go away.  Nonetheless I am grateful for that eternal perspective.  Sometimes we get so caught up in the busy-ness of life that I think we forget why we are here or doing what we are doing.  Without an eternal perspective of what *truly* matters (and I don't think it is whether or not my children's clothes are folded on their shelves or I'll make it to the gym that day,) I think I could get utterly consumed with the here-and-now.  Live in the moment, but don't be consumed by it.

I can see the Lord's hand in other aspects of my life.  In my work as a doula, I have been called a Godsend and intuitive, gifts which I attribute to gifts of the Spirit for being in the right place at the right time and fulfilling my calling. However, this will never overshadow my ultimate calling as a mother, and let me tell you there is nothing like attending a 30 hour birth to make you appreciate being home with your children. 

So that is what my inspiration and a beating heart told me to get up and bear today, however that was superseded by the pounding of a 3-year-old's fists on the pew needing to be taken out of the chapel so I kept it in my heart.  This gives me the idea of a "virtual testimony" forum for mothers of young children. :)

May you all have a beautiful Fast Sunday and always keep a testimony in your heart. <3>