Eating for Three

I don't think I have ever been as hungry in my life as I am now. It is ridiculous how much food I can pack away... and still be hungry two hours later. The positive side to this is that so long as I heed to my appetite I don't seem to have any nausea, so it works. I am 8 weeks and 1 day, and whereas this usually marks the time in pregnancy where I am at the height of feeling sick, I've had nothing. There was that weekend at 6 weeks that I never want to relive again, but I think that was brought on by traveling and long days. I have gained about 10 pounds since the start of this cycle (which actually dates back to about 2 1/2 months ago when I started the hormones.) I quit running in preparation for the pregnancy, and with a twin pregnancy don't see myself doing much exercise in the near future. Right now energy won't allow. I think after this pregnancy I'll join a gym and start taking some classes- something I've always wanted to do. I don't know if I'll lose weight as quickly because I won't be nursing, but I do plan on pumping, and I'll be sleeping. That always helps. I am really struggling with not having the energy to do all that I want to do around the house, but with so many pregnancies in such a short amount of time I don't really remember what it's like to have energy. I've never really "caught up" after the last 2 babies, and then I have to realize that I may never get back to where I was as a mother of 4 as a mother of 6. Still, the desire of my heart is to craft, clean, decorate, and have the positive energy to put into my children and life. My heart is there but I am here. With any luck I will be getting a vehicle in the next couple of months and that will help tremendously. It's been a year since the kids and I have been able to go anywhere together, and I feel like we are missing out on so many life experiences. I know I am not the only mom who has gone without a vehicle, but sometimes it feels that way. Anyways, enough of my sob story. Sometimes it just feels good to reach out. It's better than hopping on Facebook and feeling like everyone else is living life while I'm just... existing. I know it's not that bad and that this, too, shall pass. I try to enjoy the experience while I am in it but I can't help but want to get ahead. I want to be mobile, want to see friends, want to be present for my children spiritually and emotionally, want to make my house a haven, have moments of peace and solitude and feel rewarded for my efforts in a day. I want to know that this is not all in vain. I want to know that I can finish what I start, and follow through on some of the ideas that inspire me. I want to get excited about life and starting a new day. I guess one can only stay home with 6 children and no vehicle for so long and still feel excited about getting out of bed in the morning. It's been long enough. I know this is all in Heavenly Father's plan, which is the only thing that makes it bearable to wait. It's like squeezing through the small tunnel to reach the light at the end. It's like... birth. Only time will make it pass, and the only way to pass time is to live it one day at a time.