A Good Day

Today was a much-needed good day. Forrest took all of the kids (except Anthony) to the bay area and I had a whole day to myself. What did I do? Clean. I started in the kitchen and worked my way through every room in the house, ending in the kids bedroom (my most dreaded.) The house feels so good. Cleaning is like soul food to me. It lifts my spirits and helps me to focus on the important things. I feel like the inspiration flows easier in a clean house and I am lifted out of my bad mood. Today was like a hit on the reset button. I also made a pot of the most delicious chicken ginger soup. The warm broth soothed my tummy and was so comforting. Most of all I enjoyed sitting in a quiet house while Anthony napped and getting to do whatever I wanted. I watched a couple of Christmas movies on T.V. and took a long, hot bath followed by Ghirardelli brownies. I organized the tops of my dressers and cleaned out my purse. I vacuumed inside the kids' closet, under their beds, in the playpen, and cleaned their mirrors. I de-cluttered the kitchen counter. I lit some candles and vacuumed the sofa slipcovers. I can't tell you how baaaadly my house needed this. It amazes me how much deep cleaning there is to be done after only 3 months of living here. My nausea has been at bay. Sipping cranberry juice seems to help, along with just getting a break. I am deeply affected by the state of my house, on a holistic level. My mood, spiritual well-being, mental and emotional well-being along with my ability to receive revelation are all intertwined with the state of my physical surroundings. Maybe this is common sense to everyone else but this concept has become clear to me time and time again over the years. The tricky part is realizing when I'm in a bad state and how to get out of it when the energy is not there. One of my favorite sayings in my Feng Shui book is that most people say they don't have the energy to clean, when in fact cleaning your surroundings gives you energy. This definitely holds true for me but I can't always see it until after the fact. That is why cleaning is my soul food. As I was re-reading parts of my journal from 2 years ago I realize that this physical/emotional state is very typical of the first trimester in previous pregnancies. In looking back I can see that I always have this feeling of being overwhelmed, overworked, and discouraged. The good news is it passes after about 12 weeks. When the kids came home tonight I was ready for them. I had filled my well. It got me thinking that I need to find a way to do this more often (alone time, that is.) I'm just not sure how to go about it. I am counting on a vehicle to make a big difference. Sometimes knowing that they'll be gone one day is not enough. I think I've burnt the candle at both ends for too long, and it's a wise mom who knows when to call break. Here's to finding wisdom in knowing my limits, and having the courage to reach out, for myself and for my kids.