Saturday, January 15, 2011

Sincerest Apologies

Okay, so I've had a nagging little feeling about a blog post I did recently. It was the one on "A Baby Story." Specifically, it was these words:

"A c-section is not birth."
See? That's me, eating my words.

Gobble, gobble.

I haven't stopped being bothered by it all week. Perhaps it's the close friends and family members who have had c-sections and read my blog, and the remorse that I would have for ever offending them or undermining their birth experiences.

Let me clarify- I am obsessed with labor and birth. Be it my own or others, I simply am in love with and infatuated by the whole process. Every time I witness a birth, whether in real life, through reading a story, or on a screen, it's like I am right there re-living that miracle and feeling everything the mother feels. So, for the purposes of "A Baby Story," I always find it a little bit of a disappointment to watch a birth via c-section because I don't get to experience the whole labor / delivery portion of it.

However, that's not to say that bringing a child into the world via c-section is not "birth." That was a poor choice of words. Make no mistake, I get teary-eyed every time a baby makes its appearance, whether it comes out on its own or is pulled from its mama's belly.

So if you happen to be one of those I've offended and I'm sensing your vibes, please forgive me. I meant no harm.


  1. I understood. For me its the women that choose c-section because its convenient or ''easier''.

  2. Sincerely no offense taken. You love your children and clearly celebrate the entire birthing experience. I applaud you! And, I also find it extremely awful that there are so many women making appointments/c-sections to have their babies. But, without that c-section, Sean (and possibly me) would not be here today. 27 hours of intense labor, pushing for 6 hours, and then his heart rate beginning to drop - there was no choice but a c-section. I was extremely disappointed and felt that I failed somehow, but my body was totally spent. I am very proud to say that I went against medical advice and had 2 v-backs. Today it is almost impossible to do that (MD liability).

    Your dad and I are extremely proud of your strength, clarity and determination to do the right thing for you and your family. Please continue to share your feelings and love for birth and beyond. It inspires and sweetly touches all of us. Thank you!

  3. Thank you Candy. That comment means a lot to me. I am always impressed by your ability to express your thoughts so eloquently!

  4. I would've loved to have a natural, homebirth, but after 36 hours of labor and not dilating I had no choice but to have a c-section. Homebirths are not for everyone and not the only choice. I know how strongly you homebirth moms feel about giving birth at home, and that's great. I think sometimes you make it feel like that's the ONLY way to give birth though, or that those women who even choose epidurals aren't as good as moms. Getting these sweet spirits here, no matter how it's done, is a task and a blessing all on it's own. Anyone who goes through 9 months of pregnancy and then brings another one of Heavenly Father's chilren into this world and raises a righteous child is a hero or wonder woman in my book. I've been asked many times if I regret not being able to have a homebirth, then I failed at not being able to have a VBAC too. Absolutely not! I was more concerned about getting my babies here safe and healthy and keeping me alive. Do I wish I could experience the whole pushing and delivering my own baby? Yes, that would've been amazing I'm sure, but it's not in it for me. I definitely don't understand at all why women would choose c-sections if they didn't have to, but sometimes that's the only way. Thank you for your apology, because giving birth c-section is NOT easier. I applaud you for recognizing your mistake on saying that and hope that all homebirth mothers will be more sensitive to us c-section moms and realize that we are just as great as mothers who deliver at home.:)

  5. To be honest, there have been times I don't agree with what you post. However, I also recolonize we have VERY different beliefs and opinions on many topics. I don't judge you for your beliefs, the way I see it you have a good heart and are a good person, just because I don't agree with something you say or do doesn't mean I don't still love you!! I also feel it is your blog, and as I appreciate you apologizing to those you offended (I am not one of them), I also know how strongly you believe in birth no matter what form, I knew even as I read the original post you meant no harm or offense to anyone.

    All that being said, I feel you shouldn't apologize for something on your blog, but as I said above I read it knowing you meant no harm. I may not like what you say or post sometimes, but it's you and your beliefs, I say be proud of them...keep blogging!

  6. It was big of you to recognize that what you wrote may have offended some, and then to take the time to apologize. I applaud you for that. For those of us that know you, we realize how passionate you are about childbirth and that is what comes through in your writing. Homebirth, c-section, in the woods, at a hospital - wherever and however it happens, childbirth is amazing and I think that is what we can all rejoice in.

  7. Thanks Ali. It's always good to find the common thread.

  8. Strength comes from being "BRUTALLY HONEST" and "COMPASSION" comes from thinking ahead for those that you may hurt in being 'BRUTALLY HONEST".
    I am the Very Proud Dad of two grown daughters that have gone on to create their own families and have given me 10 plus “ONE”, grandchildren. I am the very lucky man that has two grown daughters that represent both "BRUTALLY HONEST" AND "COMPASSION". I also have three more children at home.
    If we lived "ON" the perfect world, then we should always have to answer to "BRUTALLY HONEST". But, God made it perfectly clear that this world would always be a home for challenges, in expressing our God Given Talents. This is why God, gave us” Freewill”. He also gave us the gift of Compassion.
    I agree with Lisa in the fact that there are those that take advantage of modern medicine and use it to "FIT THEIR RUSHED LIFES “, and this is not what God intended for the Talents to be used for. However, God did give some the "Talent" to be used as a means to bring his children from Heaven to Earth for reasons that are only known to him.
    It is not for us to judge the outcome of these events! It should be our choice to assist in the outcome in a positive manner that displays “Compassion” to all involved.
    It is also important to display Honesty in our expressions so that our thoughts with God are always present in who we are.
    I am surely a Blessed Father in all of the above!
    God Bless All.